When Emma Brockes was ten years old her mother said ' One day I will tell you the story of my life & you will be amazed.' Growing up in a tranquil English village Emma knew very little of her mother's life before her. She knew Paula had grown up in South Africa & had seven siblings. She had been told stories about deadly snakes & hailstones the size of golf balls. There was mention once of a trial. But most of the past was a mystery. When her mother dies of cancer Emma
- by then a successful journalist at the Guardian
- is free to investigate the untold story. Her search begins in the Colindale library but then takes her to South Africa to the extended family she has never met & their accounts of a childhood so different to her own. She encounters versions of the life her mother chose to leave behind
- & realises what a gift her mother gave her. Part investigation part travelogue part elegy She Left Me the Gun" is a gripping funny & clear-eyed account of a writer's search for her mother's story."